uncanny fuzz

you wont last forever
neither will i
love your fuzz
thats what i like

my memory cant hold your shape
it fades in and slowly goes
in purplish gold
leaves a faint impression
via muted colors
on the backs of my eyelids

you may lust after the past, and many do
in that present moment, they wish
for that one particular sublime
instant in time
and yet, its an inherent contradiction

the present smothers the lovelorn
those dreaming of what has happened
or longing for what may

they gasp
sucking in air, like a dying fish
on a dock they didn't build
and can't possibly accept in the few brief moments
they're lying in the blinding light of a new world
they weren't made to take

and I feel it, and at that moment know it to be true
that one cannot remember except for in the present
the past is gone
memories just that
not actual events, but the remainders of the muted colors
that once danced in the backs of eyelids

even still, i ache
for just a piece of that afternoon
right now
to lie in the sheets
the kind sunlight

what do i want?
just feelings
the warm kind, all the time