and then theres regret
always regret...

and longing

and lonliness and

you didnt have to kill art, or feminism, or love or any other idea you idealize and hold dear and think is important, that makes living consciously not a pointless exercise in exposure to needlessly dull pain and suffocating boredom

they did it to you
and by they i mean us
and by us i mean you

everytime you watch a commercial, you die a thousand deaths and live to die again
your american dream is the worlds nightmare.

truth be told, however, no one wants anything to do with anything that even resembles the truth
truth is, things dont have to work out. there doesnt have to be a god. you dont have to fall in love. and if there is and you did, it doesnt have to bear any significance. these are *facts*. this is the truth. seems like the kind of thing reasonable people would choose to avoid at all cost. the kind of thing those reasonable people would falsely identify as pessimism. but if you have to think what you dont like is bad and what is bad is inherently evil and untrue to keep yourself together, so be it. its as good a way through as any.

so you settle. so what. theres nothing wrong with that.

considering your spirit has been mashed into mush, beaten into submission by a powerful system whose only goal is to convert you into an insatiable consuming machine, to dissassociate you from your true self, to teach you that the only feelings worth recognizing are desire and dissatisfaction with not having what you want at any given moment.

but theres a way out.
i hope.
i trust that there is in spite of the reality that there doesnt *have* to be.

Reason only compounds our suffering by allowing us to realize that biology's agenda is not something we would have chosen had we been given a choice, but it is ultimately helpless to prevent us from serving it or to free us from the sting of its goad." - Wikipedia